I think I have a reason to write tonight.
Tonight of all nights
Tonight when I sit at my window and think of all things past,
Fleeting memories.
Mine to keep for better and worse.
Tonight when my self righteousness struggles to curb my human imperfections;
My first pangs of jealousy.
I wish to deny it,
Refute its existence
And yet what is left of an innate honesty within
Doesn't allow me
And I succumb.
I suffocate,
Claustrophobic
I feel like an outcast,
Ostracized.
And there sits the reason of my misery blissfully unaware.
I feel like a laughing stock,
I laugh at my naivete
As I fall into the trap
Ensnared by what I thought I was above and beyond.
As realization strikes of a yearning for something I restrain from
Territory I wish not to tread,
Yet want to...
Something I cannot have.
