A Beautiful Violence...

I stay calm in the face of rage
A rage so tangible, I could reach out and burn.
And I wish to burn,
Burn in the fury and the rage I feel.
The passion I want to be devoured by
Burn whole!
Oh how I hate this need,
This desire,
This need.
The craving for a touch
Discreet and some more.
And yes the sheer violence of it all...
A Beautiful Violence!

Reacquainting the Selves Within Me..

Standing at crossroads, I don't know where the paths lead
I tread tentatively on that path that appears to promise eternal happiness
Unsure after a loss of faith;ready to flee at the slightest turbulence and am no coward!
Of star-crossed lovers and fortune-tellers,
Nomads and travellers...I wonder ever curious, ever dubious
A willingness to be swept away but held back by an old friend,
My old friend who has served me well, saved me from blunders
My friend- the good old voice of Reason!
The cynicism that set in a while back makes me apprehensive and dubious...
Someone inside me wants to break free with reckless abandon
And I didn't even know she was trapped in there...
I struggle to reach out and know her
The dreamer in me...
Sometimes I fear I have come too far to tread back
But rediscovering the self is more often than not an interesting journey
And what triggers it no one knows
Sometimes something an old friend says,
Sometimes a line you read in a book,
Sometimes the yearning to share yourself with someone
Sometimes the need to be something more...
So my ever curious, ever dubious self reaches within to my past dreamer self
Daring her to dream her dreams
Dreams of all kinds
Of achievement, of love, of greater truths
With a quiet guarantee,
A silent promise of deliverance!!!

Of Inspiration and Similar notions...

I reach out for my pen to put my thoughts down
In black and white,
And I wonder why I do that...
What joy,
What comfort,
In the written word is it that makes me write?
My inspiration?
I ask myself that question often
Never a concrete answer.
Appreciation
Or distinction?
Or the mere pleasure of creation.
I know not the answer to that.
Yet.
I write as I think to myself
Of things familiar,
Unknown and some imagined.
A random outpouring,
Senseless and yet coherent
The beauty of poetry...
No questions asked
None answered.
The freedom of expression.
Comfort and an unburdening of the soul
Of pleasures and experiences
My poetry
My solace
The foundation of my relationship
That most important relationship...
With the self.

The Other Side of The Mirror...

There was a crowd
A senseless crowd
Utter debauchery
And noone had the faculty of reasoning.
I sat there
A part of the crowd and yet aloof
Atop a stool at a counter
Contemplating over a drink
A drink I didn't want.
And I look at the crowd
Shoving behind me
Knowing not what they wanted
And yet all wanting the same thing.
And then I look back
Into a mirror
Behind the bartender
At a stranger
Who wears my clothes
Resembles me
And is not me
My alter ego.
A detachment occurs
As a numbness sets in
The speakers blare with loud music
Everyone head bangs
The stranger in the mirror sways along
As I look at her
Apparently enjoying the ambience
And yet as I watch
I sense a dormant rebel
Who doesn't quite know what she wants
Acceptance
Or resignation?
This crisis of identity
A Lack of knowledge of one's being
This utter ignorance
How is it preferred?
This facelessness
Anonymity.
And as I ponder I watch
The reflection turn away
An understanding smile escapes me
A deep breath...
And then
She's gone
To get lost in the crowd.
Homogenity
Or a loss of individuality?

This Life...

Life is an experience
A culmination of experiences.
It never did matter what was good or bad,
All that mattered and still does is that
The lessons are yours to learn
And the mistakes are yours to make.
The sorrows are yours to shed tears on
And the joys are yours to rejoice and celebrate.
One complains and grumbles,
Feels sorry for oneself.
There are regrets,regrets one detests oneself for.
Wishes unfulfilled,
Insatiability at its prime...
Oh the human condition!
The caprice of it all.
Oh whim!Oh fancy!
Ain't you a crime?
A human failing!
Yet an experience in itself.
An experience of a lifetime.
Life is eternal,
It goes on forever,
Only entities change,
And the experience continues.
Value and cherish the experience
While it is still yours to call.
It is a gift of the universe...
This LIFE!!!